It Has Been a Heck of a Ride

My friend died on June 17. My friend Ron (who was supposed to be in my wedding but had an attack of gout) died 2 weeks before and my friend Becky's husband died the week after. then the wonderful woman who was helping out as our secretary died on June 18th. I have subsequently spent a lot time deliberating questions surrounding mortality. I guess the biggest question I have is did these people die happy and fulfilled? I never knew that this was such a big and worrisome question until these folks died. I think I always thought that when the end was near we would somehow resolve the questions we had about our own mortality and "magically" solve the problems we have with our story's ending. Well, I am hear to tell you...I don't think it happens. I am not sure we can resolve our issues with happiness until we do what we have to do. I read what I consider the most relevant quote I have ever seen a few years ago. It said that the "true essence of freedom is not doing what we want to do, but doing what we ought to do". The "oughts" of our lives outweigh the "wants" of our life by far. I listen to the younger generation and am so dismayed by the "me centeredness" of their conversation. They always speak of how "I can make myself happy" and "I should do this regardless of the cost (both monetary and elsewise) so "I can be fulfilled". When I meet with people that are dying (and of course you all know I am a RN case manager) I hear their stories of how their life has changed since they found out that they are terminally ill, and how they would have changed things, I just want to scream out to others that to be happy you have to really do what you know to BE RIGHT AND TRUE. It really is all about being good and nice just like Mom said it was.