Although still reeling, I am doing better. I am coming to see that I am not the perpetrator of this crime but the victim. Why is that so hard to see? I have been in 2 relationships where the man left me, and in both of these the men knew how devastated I was when I was "dumped". Is there a pattern here? I should have left these relationships much earlier that the men did. Various patterns of verbal abuse, attempts to control, subtle lies, outright lies, cheating, and stealing my assets are just a few things they had in common. In this case, my hubby professed to be the greatest Christian that ever walked on earth since Jesus: a fact I have a hard time disbelieving even in the face of evidence that he is a two-faced snake. It is real evidence (phone records, bank records, etc) and I still want to picture him the apostle of the new ages. I guess brainwashing works. It may take while for this to sink in...probably still in the denial stage and maybe not devious enough to figure out how the evil mind works.